May 2013
smissmass:
making a new f riend
reaLIZING TOO LATE THAT YOU DONT WANT TO BE FRIENDS W/ THEM
tennants-companion:
so I was forced to go to church and all these babies were screaming and I said “we wouldn’t be having this problem if the church supported abortion” and the guy next to me almost had a heart attack
justinibiebers:
stuff you ask your mom:
mom where’s my towel
mom what do we eat for dinner
mom what time is it
mom where’s my phone
mom when do you come back
mom what day is it
stuff you ask your dad
dad where is mom
deodrant:
effettetris:
deodrant:
dont trust people who dont dip their oreos in milk
but I’m allergic :(
don’t be a pussy
efferescent:
remember when a girl from my school wore a dress the same color as the green screen at prom
oh yes
her date did too
slydig:
lovemenowtill4ever:
slydig:
who would name their kid zoey 101
Uhm……that was her room number not part of her name
why would her room number be zoey
15hypens:
in 7th grade we had this german teacher who immigrated to america from Germany about 23 years ago and one guy in my class thought it would be funny to ask him “Hey, because you’re german does that make you a Nazi?” and in a very thick german accent he replies “Hey, because you’re a white american boy, does that make you a slaveholder?” and the kid never tried to be funny in that class...
mrschriskendall:
”where do you wanna go to dinner?”
”i don’t care”
”ok”
the-chubby-nerd:
I don’t care who you fucking think you are If a kid wants to show you something they’re proud of, you better fucking act impressed I don’t care if it’s a small score on a video game or a piece of art made of nothing but blue paint or even a fucking fake burp You better fucking act like you just saw Jesus materialize out of thin air.
If i had a dollar for every time u annoyed me
urbancatfitters:
“do your homework”
“clean your room”
“get off the computer”
April 2013
smissmass:
making a new f riend
reaLIZING TOO LATE THAT YOU DONT WANT TO BE FRIENDS W/ THEM
thebitchpudding:
mooneymannyinthesky:
WHO THE FUCK PUT CUPCAKES IN THE GODDAMN MUFFINS TAG
why are you in the muffins tag
smashingkeys:
futuregroupie:
a disney movie where the princess meets her prince online
excuse you
theyellowbrickroad:
am i too young to have a midlife crisis
That sucks man
– Me trying my best to give emotional condolences. (via godsux)
oscarstardis:
the problem with my ANTM phase is that I can no longer look at people’s pictures without thinking I know what’s wrong with their modelling